I attended a funeral yesterday. I haven’t been to one since I was 11 years old. Bleeding cooch, 2 hours of sleep and nerves. It was a draining day.
I shook hands with a lot of people that knew me but I didn’t know them. One of them greeted me with a " Hi! I see you haven’t been out much in the sun! " and then kept telling me that my apartment deal in Stockholm is a bad deal.
I cried a lot more than I had planned on. A trumpeter played Summertime and I got to see my cousins say goodbye to their dad.
After crying away my ENORMOUS AMOUNTS OF WAR PAINT, people thought it was a great time to take multiple family photos. I probably look like a red-eyed snotty Alice Cooper-tent in every one.
I had some really nice sibling-time with my brother, though. He was handsome in his enormous beard and suit. Then he had to ruin it by saying I shouldn’t be cold, because I have a lot of junk in my trunk. Dickwad.
All in all, I hope my uncle rests peacefully and that this has given closure to my cousins and mother. Her brother was too kind for his own good and always bought a whole ice cream for my dog when he was dogsitting.
Funerals are uncomfortable and draining, but necessary.
.. SO ANYWAY, I DREW MYSELF BEING AWKWARD AT FUNERAL.